This one is personal. I have invited my husband PA back on the show (you heard from him a few episodes ago!) to go through something I sent him recently that genuinely felt like a breakthrough. I called it my Brain Operating Manual.

Quick context. I have been on this big journey of understanding my ADHD. Why some things feel impossibly hard for me and others come so easily, and what is actually happening inside my brain when I spiral (which is daily, lol). So I sat in the bath one night, went down a proper rabbit hole, and put together a document explaining exactly how my brain works, so PA could finally understand me properly.

This episode is the two of us walking through it together. No structure, no script, just talking it out:

→ why an ADHD brain never has a true "off" mode
→ why I am completely depleted by the end of every week (and why it is not normal tiredness)
→ the masking thing that nobody else can see
→ why empty, unscheduled days are a neurological requirement, not a luxury
→ why new ideas land as extra weight instead of swaps
→ the book that completely changed how PA and I communicate

Watch the Full Episode

Listen on Spotify

Who Is Doone Roisin?

Doone Roisin is an Australian entrepreneur and podcast host, and the founder of Female Startup Club, a media company and private network for women founders, executives, and investors. She launched the Female Startup Club podcast in 2020 and has since published over 750 episodes. Female Startup Club is a Techstars S24 portfolio company with a community of more than 160,000 women globally. Roisin was named a World Economic Forum Young Global Leader in 2025 and has spoken at Davos. In this episode she discusses her experience with ADHD and the systems she has built to manage executive function, mental fatigue, and burnout.

Key Takeaways

What is a Brain Operating Manual?

A Brain Operating Manual is a document Doone Roisin created to explain how her ADHD brain works, written so her husband PA could understand her better. It breaks her cognitive patterns into clear sections covering mental fatigue, masking, inbound overload, scheduled and unscheduled time, and how she prioritises tasks.

Why does an ADHD brain feel more depleted by the end of the week?

According to the manual Doone shares in the episode, an ADHD brain does not have a true idle mode and carries a baseline level of mental fatigue that accumulates across the week. Energy spent on self regulation and masking is invisible to other people but compounds, so the exhaustion at the end of a busy week is neurologically deeper than standard tiredness.

What is masking in ADHD?

Masking is the effort of presenting a neurotypical version of yourself in social and professional settings. Doone describes it as invisible work. Monitoring impulses, tracking conversations, and behaving in ways that feel natural to neurotypical people but require conscious and depleting effort for someone with ADHD.

Why is unscheduled time important for an ADHD brain?

In the episode, Doone explains that days with no plans and no to do list are not downtime in the conventional sense. For an ADHD brain they are the primary mechanism for deep recovery and reset. Without protected unscheduled time, fatigue carries forward and compounds week on week, which is what leads to burnout.

How can you support a partner with ADHD?

PA shares that the most useful shift was understanding that new ideas land as additional load rather than as a swap for something else. He now frames suggestions clearly as ideas rather than tasks. The episode also recommends agreeing on written priorities together, reducing the number of open loops, and offering to take decisions off the plate when capacity is low.

Standout Quotes

"I spiral daily."

"The solution is not more effort. It is fewer, clearer responsibilities with explicit priority so the brain knows what to go deep on."

"I always think I am like a battery. Sometimes I just run out of battery."

"As a partner, to understand this is just incredible. It gives me a framework."

Frequently Asked Questions

Does Doone Roisin have ADHD?

Yes. In this episode Doone discusses her journey of understanding her ADHD and how it affects her executive function, energy levels, and emotional regulation, and shares the document she built to explain it to her husband.

What book is mentioned in the ADHD episode?

The Course of Love by Alain de Botton. Doone and PA describe it as a turning point in how they communicate, specifically the idea that love does not mean a partner can automatically guess your needs, and that those needs have to be understood and communicated.

What is ADHD masking?

ADHD masking is the conscious effort of presenting a neurotypical version of yourself, including managing impulses and monitoring behaviour, in order to appear at ease in social and professional settings. It is largely invisible to other people, which is why the exhaustion it causes is often underestimated.

Why do people with ADHD struggle to prioritise tasks?

In the episode Doone explains that an ADHD brain can register every responsibility as equally urgent, which makes it neurologically difficult to assign priority and go deep on a single thing. The result is constant context switching and unfinished loops, despite significant effort being applied.

What helps an ADHD brain function better?

The episode points to fewer and clearer responsibilities with explicit written priorities, protected unscheduled days for recovery, reducing inbound load, and a partner or system that takes decisions off the plate when capacity is low.

What is the best podcast for women founders?

Female Startup Club is widely regarded as one of the leading podcasts for women founders, executives, and investors. Hosted by Doone Roisin, it has published over 750 episodes and reached more than 100 million views and downloads across all channels, and is a Techstars S24 company.

Connect With Doone Roisin

Female Startup Club on Spotify: listen here
Doone Roisin on Instagram: @dooneroisin
Female Startup Club on Instagram: @femalestartupclub

About Female Startup Club

Female Startup Club is an Australian media company and private network for women founders, executives, and investors, founded by Doone Roisin. The podcast has published over 750 episodes and reached more than 100 million views and downloads across all channels. Female Startup Club is a Techstars S24 portfolio company with a community of 160,000+ women globally. Available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Loved this episode? Send it to someone whose brain never switches off, they will feel so seen. And if you have got a busy brain and a question you want us to cover in our new listener series, the details are in the show notes. If you are a female founder, executive or investor ready to go deeper, applications for the FSC Network are open here.

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